Behind every smile, there will always be sorrow.. Behind every joy, there will always be sadness hidden.. Just like today, everyone put a big smile on their faces. Aidiladha, another celebration to give thanks to Allah for what we have.. Another day where all my relatives will come over to my place to visit my grandmother. every single one were present.. everyone except two.. my brother and my sister.. Brother is in china, sad enough he cannot be here with us.. but all of us were touched when he actually took the intiative to skype with us.. As for my sister.. sigh.. we have got no freaking idea where she is.. and she didnt ecen take any initiative to call or ask how our health was.. instead, she called me to get her passport.. her fucking passport cos she is going for a holiday to bali next mth. wtf?! what is this.. i feel so angry, i feel so sad.. she have got the cheek to go to bali when we are all thinking of her.. fuck ass!!!!!!how should i react? i cannot bring myself to tell my mum abt this.. i just cannot see her hurt again.. i'm so frustrated.. i need someone with me right now...
Labels: KNNBCCB
what we could have been, 9:47 pm.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
FUCK YOU GIRL! SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU!! ouh.. or maybe not... cos yours are too lose that no other guys would wanna fuck you... go get a life... cb! and please keep your comments to yourself.. you are nobody to judge people.. go make yourself right first before you put judgement on people.. fucker! self-centred fucker.. only think of yourself and not how other feels.. i regreted knowing you seriously.. i think i was out of my mind getting to know you.. eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!! i'm disgusted.... and i feel like puking right into your fucking ugly face... go fuck off okeh?pffft! you're such a waste of my time.. freaking white bitch...
sendiri makan chili sendiri yg rase pedas.. if anyone of you who'll be reading this actually think that i'm talking about you above, just so you know i dont owe you any apology.. cos seriously, you're not worth it...
Labels: ain't gonna apologise to any..
what we could have been, 11:00 am.
Been occupying myself with alot of mathematics, school, and work for the past week. Had a very hard time getting people out of my head.. i hate this feeling.. FML!!
Work today was okeh.. boring.. i almost fell asleep standing.. pffft! and we were planning about what to wear for christmas spirit.. hahah! thought of making a miniature santa hat on our own.. LOL! christmas tree is up.. more decos to go.. have yet to think about what present to buy.. cb! the hardest part is that the present have got to be unisex.. tsk! but i don't think it matter that much cos well, the guys at T3D are somehow feminin. hahah! k skip..
i miss dancing alot.. watched dinie's practice for dance explosion.. the crew was awesome.. i wanna dance damn badly.. booohooo~!
I miss Michelle Lu!! hahah! random much... and i miss Fidtria.. Date with Fidtria on the 29th.. Michelle!! when wanna go watch movie together???? pay coming!! hahahah!
k i miss someone also... wont mention the name here.. FML!! get out of my head la wahlao!! how to stop thinking of him?? tell me tell me!!! errrrgggghhhh~! -,-
okeh.. school tmrw.. lazy!! bio some more.. fuck the faci mann! petition please?????????
okeh angelia darling.. updated.. =D see you tmrw..
Labels: FUCK MY LIFE
what we could have been, 6:59 pm.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
havent been blogging for quite sometime now.. was very busy.. KIRANA & RETREAT PICS not uploaded, school, peranakan festival coming up, school, work, school, work.. so tiring!! well, okeh, i'll admit that i am trying to keep myself busy due to some personal reasons.. pffft. k whatever..
moving on.. played in the rain on thursday with Liza and Zak.. had so much fun!! and was drenched and i was freezing in the library.. But i guess it was all worth.. i walked in the rain, wash away my tears and shower myself with happiness.. Eventhough my heart is as hard as a rock now, i'm still trying..
yesterday was another awesome day.. had breakfast with shima at kfc, went in to class during second meeting, and miraclely i understood the problem statement.. heheh! *GRINS* went to causeway point with haiping, nadz, shima, nadya, angelia and paulette to buy primal's birthday cake.. hazelnut chocolate cake.. AWESOME!!! hahahah! so surprised primal with the birthday cake and yeah, everything ended normally.. blabla...
after school went down to tampines dome to accompany dinie to her dance practice shafiq came later and hilfi joined us again after work.. OMG! i just realised i missed dancing so the very much... saded.. slacked, laughed, eat, talked with eqa, fizy dinie, blabla.... headed down to simei as usual, adik joined us,.. and with the feeling of tak puas hati cos i missed dance so much i danced with dinie.. hehehe! and i was sweating like a pig for the first time after so long!! i miss dance i miss dance i miss dance!!! hahahah! then played taiti for awhile and then home.. heheh! tiring but AWESOME!!!
today, morning work till 430 then headed down to nenek's place in hougang.. bored to death then headed to ntuc at whitesands.. after that home.. i miss mummy.. hehehe!
okeh.. tmrw not working.. last minute joanna tell me no need work.. wooohooo~! power or what.. so next working day will be thursday,. yay!! hahah! pemalas sia lyn.. tsk3!
heheh! okeh,.. thats about it.. bye..
Labels: stoned heart
what we could have been, 11:03 pm.
MOVING ON...
what we could have been, 12:44 am.
Now i know the truth.. The real truth and everything that you have been keeping to yourself and your life diary.. I really didn't expect you to love me so much that you couldn't forget me.. it thought whatever you told me was not true.. But i thought wrong.. every single thing that you told me was very true indeed..How am i suppose to leave you now? knowing everything that happened throughout the whole year that we separated? I can't bear to leave now that i know how true your love is..I thought i could make a difference.. i promised you to stay this time.. but how am i suppose to do that if she doesn't want to back out either? I mean i don't want to be called selfish, after all, she loves you.. I'm not saying that i don't but i can feel how hurt she feels loving someone who loves someone else not her.. How am i suppose to let go now? remember the quote, if you love someone let him/her go, if she comes back she/he is yours forever, if she/he doesn't it was never meant to be.. I let you go once.. And you came back.. what does that mean? but now, i have to let you go again.. will you come back again? How am i suppose to feel right now.. i don't want to let you go again.. I don't want to lose you again.. But i really don't know how i am suppose to deal with this.. I thoughteverything will be different now.. but im wrong.. she still doesnt want to let you go.. how how how? i'm really speechless.. i really don't know what to do..i really don't want to let you go again this time, but i have no choice.. i love you....
what we could have been, 12:15 pm.
sorry this will be another emo post.. sorry dinie, but i'm just letting out how i feel here cos apparently, i can't let it out with my own voice..so here it goes..
Last saturday, i thought i'd be the most happiiest girl on earth for the rest of my life when i saw him.. But i thought wrong.. everything were beautiful only for a few days, and then, things started to get ugly.. the truth is ugly.. yes..if only i know shit will happen, i wouldn't bring myself into this.. but then again, i followed my heart..it hurts really badly that i couldn't control even a drop of my tear..but now, after tomorrow, i promise my heart won't ache anymore..because tmrw will be a new day, and tmrw my heart will be harder than rock and i'll bury it deep and far where nobody cannot see or even find it..becaause tmrw i choose to forget.. and tmrw i'll let go.. let go because i give up.. give up with love and relationships..i'm sick and tired of being hurt..i love you but this love can never be fulfilled.. let me bury this feelings deep and far and i'll never ever reveal it.. i'm letting you go again.. i'm sorry.. be happy with her and i'll be happy for you.. forgive me for loving you so much that it hurts and i'll forgive you for crushing my fairytale dream..goodbye baby, i love you........
what we could have been, 12:47 am.
Behind every smile, there will always be sorrow.. Behind every joy, there will always be sadness hidden.. Just like today, everyone put a big smile on their faces. Aidiladha, another celebration to give thanks to Allah for what we have.. Another day where all my relatives will come over to my place to visit my grandmother. every single one were present.. everyone except two.. my brother and my sister.. Brother is in china, sad enough he cannot be here with us.. but all of us were touched when he actually took the intiative to skype with us.. As for my sister.. sigh.. we have got no freaking idea where she is.. and she didnt ecen take any initiative to call or ask how our health was.. instead, she called me to get her passport.. her fucking passport cos she is going for a holiday to bali next mth. wtf?! what is this.. i feel so angry, i feel so sad.. she have got the cheek to go to bali when we are all thinking of her.. fuck ass!!!!!!how should i react? i cannot bring myself to tell my mum abt this.. i just cannot see her hurt again.. i'm so frustrated.. i need someone with me right now...
Been occupying myself with alot of mathematics, school, and work for the past week. Had a very hard time getting people out of my head.. i hate this feeling.. FML!!
Now i know the truth.. The real truth and everything that you have been keeping to yourself and your life diary.. I really didn't expect you to love me so much that you couldn't forget me.. it thought whatever you told me was not true.. But i thought wrong.. every single thing that you told me was very true indeed..How am i suppose to leave you now? knowing everything that happened throughout the whole year that we separated? I can't bear to leave now that i know how true your love is..I thought i could make a difference.. i promised you to stay this time.. but how am i suppose to do that if she doesn't want to back out either? I mean i don't want to be called selfish, after all, she loves you.. I'm not saying that i don't but i can feel how hurt she feels loving someone who loves someone else not her.. How am i suppose to let go now? remember the quote, if you love someone let him/her go, if she comes back she/he is yours forever, if she/he doesn't it was never meant to be.. I let you go once.. And you came back.. what does that mean? but now, i have to let you go again.. will you come back again? How am i suppose to feel right now.. i don't want to let you go again.. I don't want to lose you again.. But i really don't know how i am suppose to deal with this.. I thoughteverything will be different now.. but im wrong.. she still doesnt want to let you go.. how how how? i'm really speechless.. i really don't know what to do..i really don't want to let you go again this time, but i have no choice.. i love you....
