I WISH YOU CAN BE MINE

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

ouh great.. first you make my day by buying
me everything that i wanted.. and now you
just ruinedit..yes i know i have to respect you..
but have it ever occured to you that you have
been unfair to me?? you were unfair ever
since she came home.. everything was all my fault
everytime we fought.. you've always said that you've
always been dividing your love equally among us.. but
where are your prove?? the point is that you have never
made me feel so intimidated or inferior before.. it was only
until she came back early this year that you started to
be unfair.. i cant say that i hate you cos its because i love
you too much that i have been acting the way im not supposed
to towards you everytime i feel angry or mad.. it was because
of how you've been treating me that i became rebelious.. i've
done so much but why can't you understand and give a fair
situation so i can atleast be the same person i was before..
i've never let this out to anyone.. but i'm letting it out here
because the truth is, i can't take it any longer.. i can't bear
the pain anymore.. i hope you understand.. and i want you to
know that i love you so much.. and i swear nothing can ever
change a daughter's love towards her mother..

what we could have been, 3:23 pm.

Monday, 24 November 2008

halu2!! i'm so damn freaking bored right now..
went to the pasar malam at whitesands earlier just now..
with my mother and belo niece..haha!! congrats2 eh titi,
dpt 203 sey.. haha!! but so sad tak dpt sekolah yg
diidam2kan eh?? aaawwh!! don't worry lar.. i'm sure
you'll have fun once you enter secondary school life..
haha!! went out with dearest cousin, her two daughters
and son.. actually the plan was to go to escape theme park
since theres an offer for special price..haha!! but plan
was spoiled cos it was raining.. DAMN!!
so changed plan and go window shopping instead..
but it was quite fun lar kan since dah lamer tak kluar
together ngn diorg due to PSLE and O'LEVELS, which
are definitely over right now, like finally.. more outings
will be planned and yadayada!! COMFERM GOING FOR
HOLIDAY WITH THEM AND OF COS MY OTHER FAMILY
MEMBERS! WOOOHOOOO!! haha!! okeh.. i'll update more
when i'm less tired.. DAMN STILL TIRED SINCE THE OPEN
HOUSE THINGY.. haha!!

ouh dear you sill have to view my friendster and read my
shoutout before writing what you have to say on whatever profile
you have..how pathetic can you be?? i've just realised that you're
such a loser!! and an ugly one too!! haha!! no offece but i'm stating
the fact.. haha!! i talk facts you see? not like you sucker!! talk shit!!
ooops!! i'm stating the fact again.. haha!! you're so cheap.. and i don't
entertain cheap pple who owns cheap mind..and sad to say, pple like you..
haha!! so i think you better shut your fcuking trap before i get even more
nasty.. you don't really know who you're messing with slut!!

what we could have been, 4:45 pm.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

stupid lar my cousin!!
ajak kluar biler org tgh sengket.. haiix!!
nothing to do at home, so bored..
wanna go out, but got no money..
haha!! promised Mazni, Liyana, and Nana
to go karaoke with them.. but my dad was hospitalised
two weeks ago so have to bring foward to some other days..
now that my dad is discharged, sumer tgh sengket..
so have to wait till dah dpt duit.. haha!!
i promise k korg?? haha!!
eh2..bsk thursday kan?? haha!! bdk2 primary six dapat
results..haha!! ALL THE BEST TITI!!! haha!!
then, nak gi tgk wayang lepas dance!! woohoo!!
a treat from my lovable cousin.. Kakak sedare tersayang dok..
haha!! she and her family took care of me since i was born..
haha!! so its not surprising how close we are and how
our bonds cannot be broken.. haha!! sayang korg lar!!
haha!

ouh yar.. to that someone, GET A LIFE! how pitiful of you
not to know whats really going on lar eh.. haha!! saper yg perasan??
who even go read your blog?? eh please lar eh.. AKU TAKDE
MASA NAK LAYAN POMPAN TUA TAPI ADER OTAK
BUDAK KECIK MCM KAU!! AND I DON"T NEED TO READ YOUR
BLOG TO SAY WHAT I"VE GOT TO SAY ON MY FRIENDSTER SHOUTOUT..
I"M NOT LIKE YOU LITTLE KID

what we could have been, 4:18 am.

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Dance was tiring, as usual.. bored to death now..
aarggggh! can someone please entertain me?
i'm sick of watching movies online all day..
hmmp! talking about movies, i think you pple
should watch 'Picture This'
(Ashley Tisdale is the main actress)..
but of course, wait till it's in the cinema lar..
but, if you wanna watch it online, i'm sure
there's no harm right? haha!! well2,
maybe i should get some quality rest now..
just to get my mind at ease and forget everything
else which happens to bother me in the mist of me
having fun..and i really mean EVERYTHING..
including stuff which i'm supposed to be concerned about..
ermm, that person should know what i'm talking about..
so i guess it's till here for now..

what we could have been, 8:46 am.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

i'm so bored.. Can't sleep cos i'm too pissed off..
haiix! received a stupid call a few minutes ago..
and it suddenly turn me off.. ggrrrr!! whatever!
i gotta get some rest, and be ready for more drilling
during dance practice later..

~~Ouh great, now you're like on her side again??~~
WTF!! And you gave me the same stupid reason,
sad to say AGAIN.. omg!
how much longer isit going to take??
how pathetic can it get?? so much for your promises..
sometimes i feel like giving up on you..
but surprisingly, its not that easy.. i don't know why
but i'm so attached to you that i even did everything
that you told me to do yesterday.. yes, i did..
but don't you ever think of asking why..
and btw, its not my fault she din't want to accept
whatever that i told her yesterday..
so don't try to blame me for everything..
anyway, why is she such a busybody anyway??
its my friendster, my profile and my private photos..
i repeat myself again, they are MINE! and its not like
as if pple view those photos.. and like i say i mean
every word i say on my shoutout..
and isn't sad to know that everything on my
shoutout is true?? aawwwwhh! and i think that
includes the part where by i say,
" you still have a mind of a little girl...."
don't you dare tell me that is not true.. the prove is
that everytime she's unhappy with me, she'll
complain to you.. omg! i can't beliee a 20 year old is
doing that instead of settling it herself..
and ouh dear, she said that i'm a coward?? haha!!
ermm, reality check, she used your friendster
account to send me a msg..hmmp2..how pathetic..
~~now who's the coward??~~

what we could have been, 4:34 pm.

Darn it!! had a quarrel with him again last night,

this morning i mean.. haiix!! every single time we

had a conversation on the phone, it will end with a

misunderstanding.. haiix!! till when do it hae to be

this way?? till when do i have to remain waiting like this??

yes i know you'e not been yourself for the past few days

but could you atleast spare a thought for me..Why can you

spend your time with her while with me, you never had

enough time?? you told me that what we have now is real

and everything you had with her was kinda over, but somehow

i don't feel like you're treating me unfairly.. Like i said before,

you never ever put an effort to put me infront of her..

i've always been the second, or maybe even the third..till when??

haiix!! maybe i should stop questioning myself..

maybe i should just keep my mouth shut cos i know, eventually

what i have in mind will only lead to more misunderstanding and

make you unhappy.. And yes, i mean every single word i have on

my friendster shoutout.. Say what you want, protect her all you want..

i have my rights over what i have to say and what i do in life..

Yes i still respect you, TAPI HATI SAYE DAH KERAS..

mark my words, i do still love you like i always do, its only

that i think, we have to straighten things out ourself,

with no other people interfering.. sorry to say all this but i really

want us to be like how we have always been before..

And just so you know, I MISS YOU SO MUCH, BABY...

okeh..enough of my love life.. had quite alot

of fun yesterday.. haha!! had my niece sleeping

over for the past few days and alot of crap was involved..

haha!! dah nampak sangat datang dari family outgoing

and giler.. watched a movie called picture this on the net

till late and i totally forgot that i had to wake up early for

dance practice.. haha!! so woke up late AGAIN!! haha!!

At dance today, the super seniors were late again,

as usual.. but fortunately, Mr Shah havent arrive yet..

haha!! Got our brains drilled and aches all over..

haha!! tiring as ever!! but, it was fun having to dance

to Now Or Never (OST HSM3).. haha!! do catch it during

Loyang Sec open house on the 22nd..the open house will

be held from 9am but our performance is going to be from

11 to 12.. Damn it, i'm so gonna miss my juniors who will be

going to india for a school trip on thursday for one week..

Airah, Amirah, Sabrina, Rozza.. so gonna miss them.. haha!!

jgn luper bwk alek souvenirs for me.. haha!! well2,atleast i've

got my lovable dancers who made my day today..

haha!! Thank you LOVES..i love you peeps truckloads..

what we could have been, 5:55 am.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Pheew!!! i can't explain how tiring it was..
Had my cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephew
over at my place earlier.. The fun was thrilling as ever..
haha!! and my little nephew was so cute that i felt like
biting his chubby cheeks just now.. GERAMNYE!!! haha!!
sempat pulak amek video dier dengar lagu pakai headphone..
haha!! trust me, cute giler..watch this ideo if you don't believe me..

ouh well, tomorrow will be another tiring day for me.. sobsob :'(
will be having dance practice in the morning at school.. yes yes, i know..
i've graduated but i still have to attend CCA training?? haha!! yes, i
have to, together with all the other 5 super seniors, since my dearest
and adorable dance instructor, MR SHAH, invited us to have our
very last dance with our juniors for the upcoming school open house..
ouh yeah, SHOUTOUT to all primary school leavers :
LOYANG SECONDARY SCHOOL WILL BE HAVING AN OPEN HOUSE
ON THE 22ND NOVEMBER 2008.. THE TIME WILL BE COMFIRMED BY
ME WHEN THE DATE IS NEARER.. EX-LYSIANS AND ANY OUTSIDERS
WHO ARE INTERESTED ALSO CAN ATTEND..

so now, i'm gonna go to bed and have a very good rest..
and ouh yes, not only that, i also have to get myself ready for
backaches, and stuff..also to be prepared to have my brain filled
with more dance steps.. get ready and all the best to the super seniors!!
haha!! okeh2, you must be bored reading this long passage.. i'm not going
to continue anymore for now, alright.. haha!! bye for now..

what we could have been, 3:59 pm.

i'm bored.. nothing interesting going on at the
moment.. haiiix!! guess i have to wait a little longer
since my loveliest family come over.. well, having a little
doa selamat for my dad.. and2, OMG! i miss feeqah already..
padahal semlm kluar ngan dier kejap sey.. haha!!

what we could have been, 6:19 am.

Sunday, 16 November 2008

it was very tiring today..
Fetch father back from hospital, after about two weeks of going to and fro the hospital, he is finally dicharged..Alhamdulillah..
Went for interview with feeqah in the morning and i got the job!! yay!!
Like finally i got myself a proper job after a few weeks break from school..
And2 o'level is over!! woohoo!
But sad to say that i'm already starting to miss my friends and classmates.. aawwhh!

p.s baby i miss you so much..hope you can get yourself back together soon..i want you to be the way you use to be.. and just so you know, i love you..

what we could have been, 2:07 pm.