
Finally back from malaysia.. I actually thought that everything was going to be alright.. actually thought that everything was going to be fine from the moment i hit back in Singapore, but i was wrong.. I was wrong all the while.
So many things just have to happen when i was finally having fun.. It didn't cross upon my mind that such thing would happen.. Yesterday afternoon, while on the way back to Uncle's place in Johor Bahru from Kampong, we almost got caught in an accident.. It was raining pretty heavily while we were on the highway.. There was a car speeding on that particular highway and that car overtooked us as we were at an average speed.. perhaps they were in a rush.. But sadly a few minutes after they overtook us, the car actually started drifting and turning and lastly crashed into the side of the highway.. Uncle almost lost the balance as he was trying to prevent our car to crash into the car infront.. We wanted to stop but we couldn't it was raining so heavily and it was on the highway plus there were 10 of us so we couldn't possibly help out.. it was a definitely terrible experience but I'm grateful enough that nothing happened to my family..
However, something else screwed up my day..my dad called from singapore and told me something that i wouldn't want to hear.. In fact, i never want to hear and it didn't cross my mind that i would hear it..though im not going to elaborate it here, I'm sure boyfriend knows what I'm talking about..I'm not blaming boyfriend, i'm not blaming anyone, but i might be blaming myself.. I know I'm not good enough, i know I'm not up to the standard to be holding this position.. But i couldn't help it.. It was out of my control.. I'm sorry, maybe it's better off this way baby.. I love you so much i can't bear seeing you hurt.. I can't do this anymore.. You can quarrel or argue with her.. but i wouldn't want you to quarrel or argue with her because of me.. I'm sorry.. just let it be.. let it rest..
Now i wished i was caught and died in that car accident that i mentioned earlier.. If only that happened, i'm sure it would be a little less painful for you my dear.. I love you so much but i have no choice..
Labels: I'm sorry sayang i love you........
what we could have been, 8:27 am.