You've got me wrong.. You've got me all wrong.. Yes i am harsh, yes i am pushing you like a fucker but then again, you're looking at it from the wrong angle. I was trying to help, trying my very best to put aside all my problems just to help my dearest friend whom i treat like a sister.. Yes you didn't ask for my help, but i'm doind what a true friend would do.. Yes you said that i should have been a little bit nicer with my words, i should have think about your feelings first.. But did it crossed your mind that i was nice with my words back then? i was telling you "Mell, relax, it's going to be okeh". But did you listen? did you even bother to just open your heart and tell yourself that it was okeh? No you didn't.. Instead you kept telling yourself that you're doomed, continuing being pessimistic and keep on going back at where it all started, where all the troubles are.. So what am i suppose to do next? console you again and end up you not listening again and repeat the whole damn routine all over again until you're tired of it?
I can choose that solution if i wanted to.. But it won't make me a good friend if i continued doing that.. I chose to be harsh.. I had no other choice.. I needed to teach you the hard way.. I needed to put in all the harsh words in just to make you wake up and realise that all that you've been doing is not going to bring you anywhere.. Yes i'm disappointed and hurt.. Because of you and your ego.. You still don't want to bring it down despite the harsh words and sarcasm. Yes i know you're hurt, but you've seen my actions from the wrong angle and now you're like pushing the blame on me.. You make it seem like i'm the one hurting you and not understanding you.. Now you keep blaming yourself and make it looks like im guilty of making you feel that way..
Try looking and understanding my motive from another angle will you? Stop having that midset that i am harsh to you because im angry at you and such.. I AM BEING HARSH BECAUSE I WANT THE BEST OUT OF YOU AND I WANT IT TO COME FROM YOU YOURSELF! can't you see it that way? you said you're trying.. i appreciate that fact like alot.. But you're not putting what you said to actions... You keep on saying you'll stop bothering me and blablabla but do you know that you're saying all that for the sake of saying it? You're saying things that is impossible for you to face alone.. What if i say okeh, go ahead and ruin your future.. will you accept that in the positive or negative way? Im sure you'll take it in the negative way.. you'll say that i dont care about you anymore and such.. But dont you realise that the meaning behind those words are even more deep? I simply want you to think and act wisely...
And by the way.. I didn't change.,. it's you who've change alot.. You changed because of this issue... And it hurts me... So think about it.. Think wisely.. If you still want to go on with what you said to me minutes ago in msn, then go ahead.. I'm not going to stop you.. Think about it Mell.. Whateverit is, just so you know, i still love you.. Now its really up to you to decide....
Labels: Crush your ego for once.....
what we could have been, 11:22 pm.
