I'm feeling so fucking miserable.. Damn it! Trying to get everything off my mind ang get it over and done with... It's kind of pathetic of me to be feeling this way.. Shall not elaborate further.. For now, I'll just keep moving on and live my life to the fullest without any regrets..
If let say one very day you were to come back and cntct me, I'll reply and i'll answer your call... I may not be hoing for your text message but i'll definitely be waiting... Waiting for the day to come... The day that i'll be smiling again...
mengapa kita harus berjumpa? sehingga aku telah jatuh cinta... kini yang tinggal hanya hati yang penuh kecewa kerana engkau dimiliki si dia.......
I guess i'm just gonna be all emo again... haiiiix!! Feel like giving up but somehow my heart tell me to hold on.. So what should i do? should i just give up and keep moving on or should i just wait and be patient? It's like a movie without any happy ending.. Like a dream which end up with a nightmare.. How much longer will this take? How much longer must i keep on suffering like this...
I'm not angry at YOU, i'm not even angry with or at anybody..... But the truth is i'm angry with myself... Angry because i loved you, because i trusted you, i hoped for you to be mine and i make believed that you were really the one for me.. Angry because i keep on getting myself hurt and keep on hoping for the right one while knowing that nothing would work out and nothing is for real.. Everything that you gave me was only for show, it was just for two pathetic weeks... Two pathetic weeks and i actually believed that you were really sincere and it would really work out this time.. How stupid can i get? how pathetic can i be?
Life have been unfair towards me for quite sometime, why would i think that it would be fair towards me this time?? why would i actually think that my love life would really work out this time.. For the umpteenth time, i'm getting myself hurt again all because of another person like you..
Just one thing for sure, I'm not going to forget our first and last meeting... You gave me love that very night, you gave me hope and you make me feel as if i was on cloud nine.. But i guess we're just not meant to be.. You were the different and i promise i will never forget you or the moments we spent right there and then.. You were awesome and i love you for who you are... I will stil do eventhough we're apart and won't ever be together.. Thank you for helping me move on and thank you for givong me the hopes... I'm sorry for being a pain in th arse all the while we were in contact.. I won't bother you again..
Sekiranya ader jodoh kita, pasti akan bertemu.. Seandainya memang begini kisah cinta kita, akan ku terima seadanya.. Dan sekiranya bertemu engkau dan aku suatu hari nanti, pasti kan ku kenang saat pertama aku menatap wajahmu.. Sesungguhnya engkau telah mencuri hatiku, dan telah terukir namamu dihatiku ini.. And to my dearest friends, if you've been trying to contact me in someway or another, you're getting through but i'm not answering or replying, I'm really sorry.. It's just not the best time.. To the closer ones, I'm sure you know how to get through me, be it my mum, my sister or my home number.. Hope you people understand yeah??
Okeh since evryone is doing this, i shall do it too.. hahah!
1. Besides Ur lips,where is the favorite spot to get kissed?: my forehead.. 2 How do u feel when u wake up this morning?: errr, i sleep when everyone wake up due to some things.. 3. Who was the last person u took photo with? : My cousin, Syafiq Danial.. 4. Do you consider yourself to be spoiled?: errr, sometimes..hahah! 5. Would you ever donate blood? :I should think so..hahah! 6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex? : Yeap.. 7. Do u want someone dead? :Right now no..hahaha! 8. What does ur last text message says? : Ok - Kakak 9. What are u thinking right now? : when is he going to get his phone back and msg me.. 10. Do you wish someone to be with you right now? : YES! I'm dying for him to be with me now! 11. What is the time u go to bed last night?: 4am 12. Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now? : I don't know, it's my sisters' shirt.. 13. Is someone on ur mind right now? :YES! ALWAYS AND FOREVER! 14. Who was the last person who texted you? : Kakak 10 people tagged to do this quiz. : 1.adeq 2.mazni 3.liyana 4.dinie 5.feeqah 6.nabil 7.shahrul 8.danial 9.namirah 10.nizham 16. Who is 2 having a relationship with? : herself! hahaha! 17. Is 3 a male or female? :Lesbian! hahaha! no lar, female.. 18. If 7 and 10 get tgt,would it be a good thing?: errr, i don't think so..hahaha! they are totally from different worlds! 19. What is 1 studying abt? : new lame jokes everytime nabil is around.. haha! 20. When was the last time u had a chat with them? : i'm chatting with one right now, the rest idk.. 21. Is 4 single? : Nope.. 22. Say something about number 2? : My bitch! crazy and a good friend.. 23. What do you think about 3 & 6 being tgt? : hahaha! i don't think she want to, she have a bf! 24. Describe 9? : SWEET, LOVING,CARING.. i love her! 25. What will you do if 6 n 7 fight? : OMG! i will definitely tell them to stop and think abt their good friendship.. 26. Do you like 8? damn! i love him like hell mann! he's my cousin!
okeh, done! hahah! atleast it helped me kill boredom! hahaha!
what we could have been, 1:10 am.
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Meridukanmu - D'Massive
Saat aku tertawa diatas semua
Saat aku menangisi kesedihanku Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang
Selama aku masih bisa bernafas
Masih sanggup berjalan kukan slalu memujamu
Meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana
Dengarkan aku kumerindukanmu
Saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya
Saat aku meratapi kekalahanku
Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang
Selama aku masih bisa bernafas Masih sanggup berjalan kukan slalu memujamu Meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana Dengarkan aku kumerindukanmu
Selama aku masih bisa bernafas
Masih sanggup berjalan kukan slalu memujamu
Meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana
Dengarkan aku kumerindukanmu
This song actually reminds me of someone.. hahaha! okeh, shut up!
i'm still an insomniac.. hahah! and i'm still missing him! aaaaarrrggghhh! k bye!
OMG! I think I've been suffering from major insomnia for the past 2 days and it's making me feel lethargic.. Together with a bad headache and terrible flu, this is really making me insane!! Okeh fine.. In other words I'm trying to say that he's making me go crazy..
Hmmmph! in love again?? Maybe.. hahahah! i don't know.. he still haven't give me any assurance yet.. but for all i know, I'm starting to fall for him.. Damn! this is really confusing! And only one person can cure this illness! tsk! YOU ARSE! go get your phone back faster cann??
It's been quite a few nights straight that i can't get myself to sleep.. Everything is going haywire.. All that i see when i close my eyes is you.. And everytime i breath i can smell you..What am i suppose to do?
Oh *******, I miss you so much..And it kills me deep down insede not being able to hear your voice or see your face just for one second..I need you here.. I need to atleast hear your voice..
I miss you.. But at the very same time I'm feeling unsure.. I'm really confused.. I don't know whether this is for real or you're just another person who come into my life to leave me clueless and hanging like the nobody's business..
Are you another one who is going to break my heart without even trying to mend it? Or are you going to be the right one for me who'll stand by me always, be there for me when need be, love me for who i am, care for me because you really do, and be the one who i can depend on?
Everything is happening so fast and i have got no chance to think and decide.. I don't even know if i should really hope for you or just continue to move on without even giving you the chance.. The fucking problem is i don't know if i should give you the chance..
Okeh fine, i know what i'm talking abt here isnt making any sense.. I'm really confused myself.. I don't know what i'm talking about i don't know what my heart is telling me.. Tsk! @#@#%$&^%^%$@$%*&^%!!!!
k bye!
*******, don't leave me hanging like this please? Atleast give me a clue or something? i can't take it any longer.. I'm falling for you.. But i don't know if you're really sincere.. Don't leave me clueless like this you..
what we could have been, 7:22 pm.
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Fuck you mann! Go get a fucking life! Please be matured and at least be responsible towards your girlfriend and stop being an irritating JERK!
It have already ended about two years ago between you and me.. Right now, i know that you know that i know that we both have already moved on.. You hae got your own life and a GIRLFRIEND to take care of, and i have got my own life and i'm already moving on..
So please, stop bothering me, and stop bothering my sister.. Stop asking her where am i and all that ind of stuff.. I don't give a fucking damn if you wanna go down to her work place and talk to her and just lepak there, but please don't go there just because i'm there...
Fucking hell, i've moved on and you heard it from my sister yesterday i just went off with someone.. And don't even bother to think or guess who that person is, because you wouldn't want to know.. Seriously sia..
Be a responsible person and treat your girlfriend well.. Stop lying t yourself and stop lying to everyone abt you being single.. Maybe you can lie to others, but hell no you can't lie to me because i know everything.. So before you regret it, you better stop all this shit!
To that someone, you might be reading this, I'm really sorry, but i don't think this relationship isn't going anywhere.. I'm sorry if this hurt.. I don't mean to post this but I've got no other choice.. I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything.. But i just want you to realise that there's better guys out there.. I'm not trying to spoil your relationship but i really pity you.. He have been doing this for quite awhile.. You may choose not to believe me but I am ready to swear to Allah abt this.. My sister, and my friends who coincidentally knows him as well will be my witness if you want prove.. If that is also not enough, i have got the text message that he sent to my sister and i can show it to you personally... So think about it.. I know this is not as easy as you expect it to be, but seriously, you deserve better..
AKU RINDU KAU LAR *******!
what we could have been, 10:49 pm.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Yesterday was all abt the young ones at my house.. hahha! No parents! woohoo! we should tell our parents to go on a vacation again so that we can make the house go upside down! hahaha! seriously, the whole house was in a mess.. but we really had fun...
Playing games, karaoke, play more games, talk crap, all that stuff.. hahah! and then end up sleeping and wake up for more in the evening.. hahhaa! And the best part was that i got a 7yr old boy to teach me play taiti.. hahhaha! aner nak dpt sia budak kecik ajar aku maen taiti?? hahah! cute sia ni anak!
Okeh, and so, when our parents came home, the fun have got to end.. We should do this again some other times... And and, I got my hands on another new bby! hahaha! Okeh, i'll shut up!
Ouh yar, Liverpool won the match 5-0! hahah! EHEMS was damn happy abt the results.. haaha! Suker eh dier? hahahah!
See you ltr eh you! hahaha!
what we could have been, 5:50 pm.
Saturday, 21 March 2009
This will be a short one because i'm damn tired!
And so, went to daceworks cat 2 prelims round..
had fun shouting my heart out..hahha! okeh crap..
Will go straight to the point..
THIS IS SPECIALLY TO MY LOVELIES,
ELECTROPOPKILLERS, I'M PROUD OF YOU..
EVENTHOUGH YOU PEOPLE DIDN'T WIN
ANY AWARDS, I KNOW DEEP DOWN YOU'RE
STILL WINNERS.. CHEER UP BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE END!
I LOVE YOU ALL!
P.S. I MISS YOU, *******
what we could have been, 11:37 pm.
Friday, 20 March 2009
SHOUT OUT TO ALL DANCE FREAKS!
(and to non dance freaks) DANCEWORKS ANTI-DRUGS DANCE COMPETION SO PLEASE COME DOWN AND SUPPORT;
THIS POST IS SPECIALLY FOR LYSIANS AND
ALSO EX-LYSIANS.. THOSE WHO ARE NOT FROM
LOYANG SEC ARE ALSO INVITED TO COME!
THE MORE THE MERRIER!
SEE YOU PEOPLE THERE!
what we could have been, 1:13 am.
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Hello there! hahah! So like finally I met my darling yesterday...
hahahha! Miss her like crazy mann! Tsk! hahaha! Okeh so
ferst of all we went to Suntec City Tower 4 to meet Liyana dearest..
hahahah! actually to get our free drinks! hahaha! Free Caramel Frappe..
Who doesnt want sia?? hahahah! On the way there, we stopped at Aunty Anne's
to get the famous pretzel.. LOL! then off to Starbucks near carefour..
So after getting our free drinks, we checked out the timing for Marley and Me
at Eng Hwa Cinema, but then decided to follow the actual plan and went off to
Cathay @ Orchard.. hahahha!
Marley and Me was a superb movie sia!! Those of you who havent got the chance
to watch it, do find time to do it.. Trust me, you won't regret it..
A movie full of comedy, romance and happiness, yet touching and believe it or not,
it'll move you to tears...I wasn't expecting it myself.. But i actually cried through out the
whole ending of the movie... Tsk! Feeqah got her nose all red! hahahah!
Okeh, and so after the movie, we went over to Ngee Ann city to have dinner at Delifrance bistro..
And also visit Feeqah's sister.. hahaha! she so cute!! hahahha! And after dinner, we went off
and sit and walk around, talking, ossiping, crapping.. hahahah! Waited for Feeqah's sister..
FUN FUN & MORE FUN, till it was time to go home... tsk! but, we're surely to spend time together
again.. hahahah! Enjoy the pictures...
what we could have been, 9:22 pm.
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Sometimes you're fun, sometimes you're a pain in the ass.. You are one fucking person who's life is all abt yourself.. You never think of others nor how they feel.. You expect others to comfort you and understand your feelings and also give you every single thing that you want.. Please get a fucking life and be more mature... Not for me, not for anyone, but for yourself...
I don't intend to be angry and not talk to you, but if you carry on like this, i'll be even more pissed.. i hope you change and be more mature.. And please, if people don't bother you, don't you ever bother them...
Okeh, I'll just skip that part..
I will be meeting feeqah tomorrow! Yayness! I love this mann! ahahah! we're so gonna catch up with each other.. OMG! Only God knows how much i miss her mann! tsk tsk tsk! lwe used to meet each other every single day abt a month ago due to work.. But eversince our contract for that job ended, we've not been seeing each other like alot! ahahah! So tomorrow will be the day..
And Yana!! FREE CARAMEL FRAPPE FOR ME PLEASE!!! ahahhaha! going to stop by at yana's work place as she requested me to vivit her while she's at work.. LOL! so it will be tomorrow as well okeh dear?? hahaha! Okeh, gtg now... I gotta get to bed now or i won't be able to wake up early tmrw..
P.S. I STILL LOVE YOU THOUGH...
what we could have been, 9:43 pm.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
hey! yes, i've not been updating lately.. hahah! i'm lazy..
ahahaha! okeh, so i went out with my dearests...
Mummy darling, cousin and niece.. and baby nephew tagged along too!
hahha! sebok jer.. aru feeling2 nak sumer pompan eh.. hahaha! k whatever..
So as usual, camwhoar with dearest niece...hahah! will upload the pics..
and so, i have got to get my hands on those new clothes... ahahah!
So i bought a new dress, two tank tops, and one t-shirt...
i'm so gonna shop for more.. teehee! thanks mummy for buying me new clothes..
hehehe! okeh, i miss my friends, like alot sia.. chat with feeqah and hykel till
late yesterday and i realised how much i miss them.. tsk! gotta meet up soon okeh..
and sorry hykel, hilfi, dinie and whoever who ajak-ed me to retro party.. i've already got
plans with my family.. Next time, don't ajak me last minute okeh? at least 3 days in advance..
ahahahah! okeh.. gtg, will blog again soon..
what we could have been, 9:57 pm.
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Hello people! Really sorry for not blogging for quite sometime..
hahaha! Well, the truth is that i'e been really busy... teehee!
okeh, so i shall start from monday..
Weeks ago, me, Mazni and Yana planned to meet up and
just spend time together since we've not met each other for quite
a long time... hahaha! So, we finally met on monday.. teehee!
It was damn fun with the girls readily listened to my stupid stories
about stupid people.. hahaha! okeh, not stupid people.. Just some people
who have been appearing and disappearing in my life throughout the
whole time we were apart.. Ceyh! hahaha! bbl mcm tak jumpe 10 tahun sia.. padahal2..
Hahahahah! okeh, so we talked and had our late lunch at KFC, and more talking was done,
and we browse the net using Yana's macbook.. Thanks eh yana.. hahaha!
aku ngn Mazni jakon jap.. hahah! and then more talking.. and we decided to sit
at the top floor of ehub, where Kbox was located.. haahaha! perasan nak gi karaoke konon!
padahal duit takde siak! haaha! So we actually had our karaoke session outside Kbox..
hahaha! keep wondering suckers! hahaha! Pictures will be uploaded really soon..
Okeh, so we didn't stay till late because Mazni had to be with her family to
celebrate her brother's 14th birthday.. and Yana probably would like to spend time
with her dearest.. And as for me, i wanted to get as much sleep as i could, which i failed
to do so... tsk!
And so, On tuesday morning, i woke up yo realise that i have to get myself ready and
travel all the way to woodlands where my future school is located.. teehee!
When me and dearest mummy reached there, i actually got a culture shock.. hahaha!
that was because i didn't expect that there would be alot of people on the first day..
Then i came to realise that Singaporeans are kiasu!
Okeh fine i was one of them too.. hahahah!
So we started to queing up for the enrollment thingy.. Omg! can you imagine how
tiring and irritating it was?? tsk!
Right there and then, i saw lots of people.. hahaha! so funny..
Halfway through, Belle, her sister and Nizham saw me.. and so they started to cut the que...
hahaha! okeh fine, i allowed them to do that.. hahaha! Thank me people, or i'm sure you'll
have got to stay till late.. ahahaha! and to that someone, hank me again because you didn't
miss the RJA concert.. hahaha! jkjk! LOL! So me and mummy only completed the financial
station and didn't went to the notebook roadshow and noebook configuration as we still need
to return back there to submit some other stuff... Shall not elaborate more..
And so, earlier today, i went back there.. Thanks to Feeqah and her mum for the ride..
Really appreciate it.. teehee! and so me and mummy submitted the forms and went
over to the notebook roadshow and bought my new bby! teehee! Like finally, i get my
hands on my bby dearest! hahahah! and so after purchasing, i went to the configuration counter
to create an account of my own..damn long sia! tsk! hahaha! but everything is settled now..
BE JEALOUS SUCKERS!!!
Okeh, i gtg now.. Will blog again soon yeah??
what we could have been, 9:38 pm.
Sunday, 8 March 2009
Giving someone all your love, is never an assurance that they will love you back... Some people are just not meant to be in your life... No matter how much you want them to be... You hugged him goodbye like it's nothing.. While all you want to do is to hold on forever..
I used to smile when i told people that you were mine... But now i can't even say your name and smile at the same time.. As much as i love you, i have to say goodbye...
Because i know you would be happier if i let you go... I'm sorry if i made you cry... I'm sorry if tears fell from your eyes.. But remember, for every tear that fell from your eye, two fell from mine....
Never will i forget the memories we once had... And i'll remember how much you once cared... Now it's over , it's time to move on...
It's never easy to see you turning back.. But i have to take the pain... And cry all the way home because i know, it'll never be the same....
I know when you leave, Distance will keep as apart.. Just turn your head whenever you see me, I'll definitely understand....
One day, i will be able to to look you in the eyes, without feeling the pain i've caused you... I hope in time you will be happy as you call my name once a day...
But even if its near, i know it will be hard for us to get there... Eventhough i still love you as much as i first did, I have got no other choice but to bid you goodbye, since you've chosen your final path of life... Which is to be with her...
what we could have been, 10:25 pm.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
Sister's off day today.. and as usual, KARAOKE AR APER LAGI?! hahaha.. okeh.. so had a karaoke session with sister earlier.. LOL! so funny.. as usual, sang our favourite songs.. and as usual also, made fun of each other and had a great laugh.. so i guess, this will go on every week on her off day.. haha.. and also sundays if possible.. hahaha! going to meet Mazni & Liyana tommorrow! woohoo! EXCITED! hahahahha.. still thinking whether to get another piercing..hmmmph.. maybe yes maybe no.. i'm still not sure yet.. hahaha! will make a decision soon enough..
Okeh, so i'm gonna upload some videos of me and sister singing to our favourite songs.. hahaha! klau tak sedap jgn marah eh.. haha! you'll actually realise why it started raining heavily at arnd 3pm earlier.. hahaha! okeh.. Enjoy these two videos!.. These two are one of our favourites.. teehee!.. mind my sister's malasness!
what we could have been, 7:18 pm.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right,
and forget about the ones who don't and believe that
everything happens for a reason.... If you get a chance, take it....
If it changes your life, let it.... Nobody said that it would be easy....
They just promised it would be worth it....
what we could have been, 12:57 am.
Monday, 2 March 2009
Revalina - Ceritaku
Di malam ini, di waktu ini
Ku masih terkenang dirimu
Biarpun tiada kau disisi, diriku...
Senyumanmu, raut wajahmu
Membuatku terus merindumu
Biarpun kau meninggalkan aku, cintaku....
Ku cuba tanpamu disisi
Ku cuba tanpa hidup denganmu
Meskipun ku tak mampu lupakan mu, kasihku...
Ku cuba tanpamu dihati
Ku cuba berhenti merindukan mu
Ternyata tiada pengganti dirimu, selamanya...
Sedetik ini, ketika ini
Ku masih memikirkan kamu
Dimanakah dirimu kini, gadisku....
Andai aku ulangi lagi
Cerita aku dengan kamu
Takkan ku meyakiti hatimu, bintangku...
Ku cuba tanpamu disisi
Ku cuba tanpa hidup denganmu
Meskipun ku tak mampu lupakan mu, kasihku...
Ku cuba tanpamu dihati
Ku cuba berhenti merindukan mu
Ternyata tiada pengganti dirimu, selamanya....
Ku cuba tanpamu disisi
Ku cuba tanpa hidup denganmu
Meskipun ku tak mampu lupakan mu, kasihku...
Ku cuba tanpamu dihati
Ku cuba berhenti merindukan mu
Ternyata tiada pengganti dirimu, selamanya..
Kini......
Eventhough this song is actually meant for a girl,
it somehow resembles my life.. I'm really trying my best
to move on and live my life without him..So i specially dedicate
this song to that someone..You may be reading this, you may not..
I don't know..
To bid goodbye to you is not easy.. but still, i know i have
to move on no matter what.. i still remember there was once
i told you that i would be ready to face the worse... and here i am now,
not exactly as strong as i thought i would be, but i'm still able to face reality..
Eventhough the fact that you'll be getting married to her hurts so much,
i know i'm not at the losing end.. that's because i know that i've learnt so
much while i was with you.. Yes, memories are too beautiful to let go,
but i've got no other choice.. Thank you for showing me what true love really
means.. and thank you so much for giving me all the love that makes me happy..
though it wasn't every single bit of your love that i felt, though i had to share your love
with someone else, though i had to always be the second, i still appreciate it so much..
SOULMATES, they don't have to be together forever to love.. they are meant to
love each other eventhough their lives will be spent with someone else...
Muhammad Firdaus Iskandar Shah Bin Omar thank you so much my love...
Loving you was the best thing that ever happened to me...
what we could have been, 5:20 pm.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Hello there! Hehs.. so went out with mazni on the 26th to
look for a new job.. yeap.. a new job.. hehe! but our effort
will just have to be flushed down the drain.. hahahaha!
so, we ended lepaking at ehub and have our drink from
McCafe.. hahahaha! okeh, shall not elaborate more...
will just upload some pics we took.. Mind the faces yeah??
hehs.. Have fun laughing suckers...
ahaha.. okeh whatever.. enjoy the pictures...
can't wait for the next outing with mazni again! together with yana and maybe artiya..
hahaha! can't wait can't wait..hahahaha! and it shall be a karaoke session! YESSA! haha!
okeh, wiull blog again soon..
what we could have been, 9:26 pm.
The Girl That’s Trying To Let Go….
A M A L Y N A, LYN in short..
Living her 18th this year..
Turns a year older every 17th May..
Have a very strong PASSION for DANCING LOVES to SING too...
Currently ATTACHED to Muhd Nadzir ❤ NEVER irritate her when she's PISSEDHATE ME?? you are welcome toGET LOST
